As you may know, or maybe you don’t, I just came off Active Duty after 3 years as an Army officer. In college, I did ROTC, earned my commission and went out into the world as a young 2nd Lieutenant.
I met my husband at work, 4 months before transferring to another unit so when he had unit events after I left, it was a familiar group of people to hang out with. He came to my unit functions and it was always a little odd being the “Army husband,” especially since he isn’t a civilian.
While on Active Duty, I was always set apart from the wives. I was a Solider, I did not go to coffees or hang out with the other wives. It always made me feel a little awkward.
Now, I’m in the reserves, as a company commander. I am incredibly proud that after 4 years in the Army I am commanding a company. The Hubster is also about to take command but on Active Duty so that means, I have to play Commander’s Wife. It’s no skin of my back and I’m happy to do it.
It’s how I feel when talking to other wives. They are all civilians. They only know the Army from their point of view, and then I come in. Prior service Active Duty, I really know the Army. I’ve been there. Waking up early for work and not coming home until super late because the mission needed to be finished today.
The thing is, when I meet these other wives, I feel like I’m back in high school and they are the cool clique and I am on the outside. I constantly get this reaction, “Oh, you’re in the Army?” and then I’m dismissed.
Like just because I’m in the Army too I don’t need girlfriends? Because I do. I don’t want to just hang out with a bunch of greensuiters. I want some girl friends to hit the mall with or go to a Zumba class together. Why should my part-time profession but them off so much?
And now, the Hubster is about to take command in a new unit and I don’t know any of the men or women. I’m at a loss on how to act. The other women seem at a loss on how to treat me as well.
Which is why I’m positive I will never be embraced into the secret world of the Army Wife. I already know too much.